I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i will never coherently bang her
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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