The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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