It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
