WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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