When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
