in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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