I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can I color on your dick again?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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