how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
