We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize