talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
