oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize