I think I am morally bankrupt
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
