please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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