Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
