So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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