therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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