I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
