The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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