and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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