last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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