Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize
