maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
