I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
