he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
