The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
