so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
