when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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