Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
