I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I want a musical about memes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
