You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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