he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
