I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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