Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
