what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
