The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
