Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize