How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
