You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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