Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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