I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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