East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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