Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
