Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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