i'm signing you up for texting rehab
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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