I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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