this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Never let your siblings swipe right.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
