I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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