I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
