Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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