We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
