Porn is love you can see.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
