Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
