No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
