That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
