I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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