I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
