Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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