i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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