So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
