I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
