Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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