I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
