Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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