ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Less talking, more tequila
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
