VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
