whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
