mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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