im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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