love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
