i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
