I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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