Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
