I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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