Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
