when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize