I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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