He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
