it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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