Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
