This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
