We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
