Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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