I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
